Is OkCupid your company?

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If that's true, then you're on the wrong website... First, there are my female friends.

Not only is every question a chance to lose compatibility points, you hit a level of diminishing returns very quickly. Straight women generally have more luxury than straight men to filter people out based on trivial factors, so, as you know, one can't assume that straight-male thinking is the same as straight-female thinking when it comes to online dating. But so far, you're only interested in doing it your way.

OkCupid Messages

One of the more popular news stories being shared around the web this week has been the story of how Chris McKinlay, a mathematics PhD candidate. Naturally, this inspired both wonder — OMG, nerds can break the code and get laid! McKinlay did what many nerds have done before: he attempted to solve a problem by taking his strengths — research, coding and statistical sampling — and applying them to the task at hand. Rather than finding some ruthless exploit in the human psyche that was somehow vulnerable to math, he was, put simply, attempting to moneyball online dating. Of course, McKinlay is hardly the first person to attempt to make the system work for him… or even to apply it successfully. Amy Webb, a digital strategist with Webbmedia Group of data mining, mathematical analysis and matchmaking algorithms to solve her own love issues. And you can do it as well. The site uses a specific compatibility algorithm based on comparing the questions answered by two possible matches, how each person hopes the other person would respond and what weight they give that question. In OKCupid, your compatibility score directly affects the visibility of your profile to other people. The lower your compatibility with an individual, the less likely you were to show up in their searches. McKinlay, frustrated that he had such low compatibility with women in the Los Angeles area, used bots to gather information on how women answered questions and sorted them into discrete groups based on their interests. After determining which groups were most interesting to him, he would create two profiles crafted for maximum appeal for women in those particular clusters. Webb, on the other hand, wanted to find The One and created a large data set of features that she felt were critical for long-term potential and gave them numerical values, weighted for importance. To help craft a profile that would appeal to the sort of man she was attracted to, she decided to become him; she created ten separate male profiles in order to collect data on what sorts of women she would be competing with. Over time, she developed enough quantitative data to determine issues like profile length and qualitative data to help determine what to write in that profile and how. Now unless you are already a mathematical genius with a head for working in Python and a knack for turning seemingly unquantifiable data into weighted values, this can seem so out of your wheelhouse as to be completely useless. You can take what they learned and hack your own OKCupid profile without having to do the high-end coding first. Content Is King One of the first things that Webb found is that content was the most important part of dating profiles. According to her findings, writing long and elaborate dating profiles is actually detrimental to online dating success. In fact, the most popular men and women were far more concise, using 97 words on average. So take the same advice that every editor gives aspiring writers: kill your darlings. A well-written dating profile is a well- edited profile and that means being willing to take a hacksaw to it. Be as verbose as you want when you write it… then take another pass and slash it to the bones. Moreover, how you write is equally important. If you want people to be interested in contacting you — or receptive when you contact them — then you have to make it as easy as possible for them and every burst of negativity is the verbal equivalent of putting another barrier in the way. If you want to be a more desirable match, then you have to answer the questions the right way. To start with: Clear out all of your questions and start from scratch. Not only is every question a chance to lose compatibility points, you hit a level of diminishing returns very quickly. You only need 100 questions to get a 99% compatibility rating with a. But more on that in a minute. The next rule is to be honest. That means that you should be giving me a handy under the table by now. You want to pick questions that will give you the most amount of compatibility points with your match, and to weight them appropriately. The fourth is to pick the right questions. However, OKCupid actually gives you that information, if you know how to look for it. These will tell you which questions your match weighted the most heavily. By answering several from each of your most compatible matches, you will develop a strong cluster of questions that will help tweak your match percentages. Do Your Due Diligence The match percentages are only the first step. Those make you more visible. You want one that prompts people to respond and shows that you have plenty of commonalities. Or on the second. Or even the third. There will always little things you can do that maximize your returns. You should be revising your profile regularly; there is always room for improvement, especially when it comes to to making sure that other people like what they see. And that means doing your research. Both Webb and McKinlay went out of their way to research both the people they were interested in but also their competition in order to stand out. McKinlay would data-mine his top matches to find what they were interested in and responded to and made sure to adjust his profile accordingly; when teaching proved to be of great interest to the women he was interested in, he made a point to emphasize his job in academia. Webb created male profiles in order to figure out how to fine-tune her photo choices; as it turned out, the most popular women who were interested in the same sort of men she was had photos very different from the ones that she was using. The more appealing a product you can put out there, the better your response rate will be. As a result: he was showing up in the visitor logs of hundreds to thousands of women. Out of those, a percentage would be intrigued enough to click through and visit his profile — which at this point had been carefully optimized and incredibly intriguing. As a result: women would start to send him messages, giving him a better rate of return of interest than he was getting by cold-contacting women. Use other attention getters like Quickmatch and profile rating to have the system help make sure that your profile appears in front of other people. You also want to make sure that you give women the option of making the first move. Not only does society encourage women to be passive, but many men react badly when women shuck the gender roles and make the first move. It also helps to message women who have expressed interest by visiting your profile. No matter how much intellectual chemistry you may have online, you need the for things to work out. There will be false positives. The ones who get you, and that hit all the right notes for you too. And as frustrating as those false starts may be, the ones that work will be worth it.

Also, it can clue you into sincere matches you haven't found when browsing. In which free nation is it hypocritical to stand up to someone who accuses you of hating women when no such hate exists in my heart. You also want to make sure that you give women the option of making the first move. Con reporter Adrianne Jeffries this after a friend forwarded her an email from a potential suitor—pretty common behavior when you're trying to vet a stranger for a date. If you only have oneit makes someone less likely to actually pursue you because a they don't have a file idea of what you look like, b it gives off a sense of low confidence, and c it looks like you're not putting in any effort. In all, I acted respectful, intelligent, and fairly classes but not obnoxious. Anecdotally, I usually have a first contact reply rate of 20-30%, I xi that's fairly normal. It would be silly to hold this against you. Because, you know, it's. I will look at the person's profile and then think of a thoughtful reply, especially in the first message. Webb created male read okcupid messages without logging in order to figure out how to fine-tune her note choices; as it turned out, the most popular women who were interested in the same sort of men she was had photos very different from the ones that she was using. OKCupid declined to comment on the practice.